I actually thought deciding to go into marriage and leave the singles club means ’till death do us apart’ I also thought a man quitting bachelorhood meant he is ready for the storms preparing to come, whether it’s a good or bad one. Don’t get me wrong marriage is good but comes with its challenges, ask any married couple and they will bear me witness.

I got a visit from a male friend who apparently had to step out of his home for a party without his wife and head to my place afterwards for an advice, but of course his wife knew he was up to something because he has been doing a lot of that recently just to have excuses to be away from the wife and 4 months old baby.

Here it is: I never knew childbirth would have such an outcome on me; honestly I love my wife but I just don’t know what to do any longer. The baby’s demand for everything is taking its toll on me and my marriage. I can’t sleep at night anymore because of his wailing every night, and the nature of my job requires total concentration. Now I resume at work feeling miserable like my life is over.

I’m so sick and tired of all this pressure on my Life. People said the child will grow out of it as soon as he is older, but honestly I don’t believe it because I think he will get demanding as he grows older. I never knew it was going to be like this. I feel for my wife too, she always has to stay awake every night to tend to the baby, he wants to be in our arms at all time, he needs to suck the breast like every 15 to 30 minutes, his diaper needs to be changed several times, I am so out of finances buying everything just for one baby. Will it always be like this? I don’t know for how long I can bear this.

My wife sadly has discovered the effect on me and I feel guilty but I can’t help it, I assist a lot too, and that’s the exact reason why I’m dead fed up. Please what do I do?

He narrated his deep heartfelt feeling of the pressure and I could only feel sympathy for him because he obviously didn’t realise that there was still more yet to come, he is just about 2 years into the marriage.

Of course I gave him my advice since it was too late for me to give him a Pre-baby counselling which I feel every intending couples strongly need to go for.

“Love your wife, your baby, and be supportive. No matter how hard it may seem. She will always be your soulmate and mother of your children. The baby was brought into this world by you and her, he knows nothing other than what you teach him and the care you give him, please take care f him, he trusts you and looks up to you for every single thing in his life. Don’t make up any excuses to neglect your family, be strong, be a man, learn to be strong for them.

Your kind comments and suggestions are highly welcome.

Thank you.

Xoxoxo