Tag Archives: pressure

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FRIDAY On My Mind

December 30, 2016 eddaz 9 Comments

Friday sweet Friday,

Here you are,

The perfect gift of the week,

Been looking forward to your rebirth,

Generous in assistance to the stressed,

Relief day! We will joyride down the street,

And sing Hallelujah

Thank God it’s Friday.

You are probably thinking, “THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY,” you aren’t the only one in that line of thoughts, I feel same way too; Knowing it’s going to be a full evening of fun all the way. Are you going to watch a football match? clubbing with friends? Going for an all night church service? Or is it going to be a lovely night alone with your spouse??

Whatever it’s going to be for you, JUST GET YOUR GROOVE ON – It’s gonna be #fridayflexnight. Don’t take life too seriously, pressure can really weigh one down, which is most likely what you have passed through during the week. Have fun, it’s going to be a cock-a-hoop weekend ….

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Child birth Pressure Is Destroying My Marriage

September 5, 2016 eddaz 21 Comments

I actually thought deciding to go into marriage and leave the singles club means ’till death do us apart’ I also thought a man quitting bachelorhood meant he is ready for the storms preparing to come, whether it’s a good or bad one. Don’t get me wrong marriage is good but comes with its challenges, ask any married couple and they will bear me witness.

I got a visit from a male friend who apparently had to step out of his home for a party without his wife and head to my place afterwards for an advice, but of course his wife knew he was up to something because he has been doing a lot of that recently just to have excuses to be away from the wife and 4 months old baby.

Here it is: I never knew childbirth would have such an outcome on me; honestly I love my wife but I just don’t know what to do any longer. The baby’s demand for everything is taking its toll on me and my marriage. I can’t sleep at night anymore because of his wailing every night, and the nature of my job requires total concentration. Now I resume at work feeling miserable like my life is over.

I’m so sick and tired of all this pressure on my Life. People said the child will grow out of it as soon as he is older, but honestly I don’t believe it because I think he will get demanding as he grows older. I never knew it was going to be like this. I feel for my wife too, she always has to stay awake every night to tend to the baby, he wants to be in our arms at all time, he needs to suck the breast like every 15 to 30 minutes, his diaper needs to be changed several times, I am so out of finances buying everything just for one baby. Will it always be like this? I don’t know for how long I can bear this.

My wife sadly has discovered the effect on me and I feel guilty but I can’t help it, I assist a lot too, and that’s the exact reason why I’m dead fed up. Please what do I do?

He narrated his deep heartfelt feeling of the pressure and I could only feel sympathy for him because he obviously didn’t realise that there was still more yet to come, he is just about 2 years into the marriage.

Of course I gave him my advice since it was too late for me to give him a Pre-baby counselling which I feel every intending couples strongly need to go for.

“Love your wife, your baby, and be supportive. No matter how hard it may seem. She will always be your soulmate and mother of your children. The baby was brought into this world by you and her, he knows nothing other than what you teach him and the care you give him, please take care f him, he trusts you and looks up to you for every single thing in his life. Don’t make up any excuses to neglect your family, be strong, be a man, learn to be strong for them.

Your kind comments and suggestions are highly welcome.

Thank you.

Xoxoxo

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No I’m Not Ready For Sex

July 9, 2016 eddaz 17 Comments

There is this notion that when a woman says NO, she actually means YES. It is absolutely impractical when that assumption is believed and being in existence for too long; When a woman says NO to sex, she sure means NO. Men need to stop this irrational thinking that a woman means yes when she says no. In the actual fact women are known to be the weaker gender, women don’t like being put under too much pressure by men, this makes them give in when a man makes a request.

It’s a connotation of what the man and situation of sphere at that moment that made her voice it out-Why men think women are confused? NO WAY, you just need to give some space, let go…. allow women be who God has created them to be, then the universe will fall into place. You need to start accepting a woman’s no to whatever the case might be so that things won’t eventually get out of hand at the finish line.

Ask yourself what your objectives are, what are you willing to benefit, why do you want to go that far, what will it profit you, how far will it take you, how long is it going to last for, how does it make you feel, how does she feel about it. Does it determine who you are or stand for….THIS IS FOR THE MEN.

Women it’s time you stop getting scared of saying no and stand your ground. You have to learn to say no without feeling any remorse. Learn to be dignified, take responsibilities, don’t fear for your life, the future will take it’s course by the decisions you make today.

Here is a scenario where a man tries to seduce woman, then she moves away carefully, he tells the woman ” I would really love to have sex with you.”

Woman tells man, ” No I’m sorry I can’t, I’m not ready.”

Man starts to put pressure on woman thinking her “no” actually means “yes.”

Man- ” You know I love you and want us to be closer.”

Woman- “Really I need some more time to get to know you better.”

Man- “That’s exactly what I’m trying to say, this is the best and quickest way of getting to no ourselves better.”

Woman starts to give in to the pressure. She smiles softly, feeling the IMAGINARY fear in her heart that she might loose him if she insists on saying NO.

Woman- “Alright just this once, I hope you won’t ever cheat on me.”

Man- ” We are both adults, lets have fun, moreover you are my babe and I can’t hurt you.”

Woman finally gives in. Man eventually continues going around feeling convinced women mean yes when they actually mean no.

Things eventually didn’t work out between them, the woman starts to hurt and blames the guy for using her and putting pressure on her. Things turn out bad. If only the man had respected her decision without coaxing her into giving in.

This is just one of the large number of occurrences between women and men that leads to unfortunate scenes, erupting from YES OR NO.

A gentle man will always respect a woman’s boundaries. Learn to say no and mean it without having to give explanations.

Saying yes just to please someone else is not a true yes, it’s not good for them, and it’s not good for you-Kate Northrup

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Almost 50-Live a life Everyday

July 7, 2016 eddaz 21 Comments

I was at the shopping mall and decided to indulge myself with lunch after the whole shopping spree. There I sat down at a small round table far away from where I could be disturbed. I looked up and there I saw a nice-looking mature man take a few steps towards me and he said to me across the tiny table, ” young lady, can I join you please,” I answered politely ” yes please.”

A few minutes later he said to me, ” you know… today is my fiftieth birthday,” I opened my mouth in amazement because I really don’t quite know how to put, he looked much older than his age, I told him politely with a smirk across my face, ” wow that’s nice- Happy Birthday,”

While we had lunch quietly he stopped and said to me, ” I wish I had more fun when I was a lot younger,” and he went on chatting, “It looks to me now like time passed by while I was put on hold. I’ve decided regardless of all the pressures I’m under, I will henceforth make this year one of celebration and certainty for myself”.

I actually didn’t know how to respond to that, then I told him you don’t have to regret anything because it’s not too late for you to have the fun of your life. I gave him a few TIPS on what to do, he thanked me for the piece I gave him with a grin all over his face, I simply got up and took my leave.

Let me know if you think I’m crazy, if you want to do any of this things with me or if you’ve already done them and have some tips. I’m determined to make each day of my life pretty awesome and making these goals public I believe is a good first step for me to get on the right path.

This brings us to the point where we need to acknowledge that those of us not yet fifty years of age should “live every day as if it were the last” even those that are fifty and above.

Things I would love to do:

I would love to turn off the internet for a week. I want to know how that would feel like. No twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram, no whats app. I think that sounds nice.