Tag Archives: marriage

Did I Marry The Wrong Person?

If you have recently found yourself asking the questions, bear in mind that you aren’t alone. Several couples do same. The question is why ask such at this stage of your marriage…

Did you get to know each other very well or was there an oversight? Were you guys true to yourself before eloping? Did the love fail in the middle of the journey? Did you guys loose focus somewhere? Sometimes we see the signs before taking the final decision and sometimes we don’t. Whatever happened; we are just humans.

Did I marry the wrong person?

What went wrong?… Remember when you took the vows, you did it because you were sure he or she was the right person for you until death do you apart…Always know that no one is perfect; don’t become too hard on yourself.

Once you find yourself in this dilemma what should be the next step to take? It’s a very confusing and depressing point in life when this questions start coming up, the feeling of being lost, nowhere to go, not sure who to talk to, not knowing what happened to the lover boy or sweet girl you married…It could be very sad.

One thing is certain…“All hope is not lost”… Everything that has happened in this world has happened before to other people and you won’t be the last it will happen to.

Take heart, pick up the bits and pieces where you left off…Think..It’s either you start afresh since you are already in it or you decide to take the easier step which might be the right or wrong one.

Did I marry the wrong person?

What I would do is to take a leap of faith if I still feel the love deep in my heart as long as it’s not an abusive marriage. To be honest with you if the man is violent with me, then I would definitely take a walk until or if ever he drops the violent nature. Meanwhile I would ensure I stay happy and focused.

It’s surely not an easy stage in life but try to stay strong, talk to trusted ones to free your mind, if you have kids, try to keep them happy and away from whatever drama might be occurring. Whatever you do, make sure you are truly happy doing it.

What would you do in this situation?

Getting Overworked In A Relationship

People meet each other, some develop attractions and start dating while others don’t but still go ahead onto that path, but realistically do we even really know what we want to achieve from this affair…Or are we just into the dating game to have fun and then move onto the next?

We eventually get overworked in them when we don’t face the facts…Take note of the following before going into a relationship so as to avoid hassles, heartbreak, depression and the likes…

1. Be sincere with yourself, knowing why you want to go into the relationship, what you aim to contribute and achieve.

2. Ensure you and your dating partner are on the same path. This is very essential as it makes the relationship more enjoyable and stressfree.

3. Never let your hopes be high, have a free mind and have fun as desired.

4. Cut down on your demands, it makes you appear desperate when you don’t.

5. Be friends, get to know each other before you start the relationship, ensure it’s someone you can treat like gold and do same to you.

6. While you are still single, prepare yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and domestically because oh boy…You will need those tools.

Your aim is to have a relationship that leads to marriage?

When God knows you are ready for the responsibility of commitment, he will reveal the right person under the right circumstances- thesoul doctor.

 

Be a blessing to that person you go into a relationship with; not a heartbreaker; not a demon; not a bad story…- eddaz

 

Love, Sex & Marriage In The Ancient Time

When we look back to history, we find out that love, sex and marriage is quite different from what we have now. Ancient times dating back to centuries ago; polygamy was practiced more, even by the Hebrews. According to the Bible, King Solomon had 700 wives with hundreds of children but now in the 20th century till date, polygamy has reduced except still being practiced amongst the Muslims according to their religion and by some upper class people mostly in the African region.

Marriage used to be based on contracts to seal nations. The elite married their daughters off to acquire wealth, properties and lands. Women had no say in whom they can marry or what their heart desired. Marriages were mostly arranged and finalised at their young age. Marriages used to last longer, ‘until death do us apart’ was for real. Nowadays people marry for love, and then divorce creeped in like a thief in the night unfortunately it doesn’t creep in anymore, it comes out boldly to announce itself without any care in the world.

In ancient times people bear children as if it was a competition, nowadays it is suppressed by family planning to reduce over population, moreover some nations are getting poorer, their is very little means of feeding families. Majority of couples actually avoid having children and can basically decide if they want kids or not and how many they want.

In ancient times marriage was legalised between men and women but now we have legalised same sex marriages.

Sex was meant for virgins and practiced after marriage back in the centuries, it was done more cautiously; now people have sex at their leisure times for fun. I’ve heard some crazy facts about sex back then, I’m not sure which is crazier. Is sex more enjoyable and decent now or nastier in the ancient times? Please find out here. 

 

 

It Boils Down To Two Choices  

You make your choices and live with them; OR you change your mind and make new choices. Great post written by Itsallbuki. Read and enjoy!

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There are a lot of marriages out there that aren’t thriving. Yet the bulk of the responsibility to keep it together is on the woman. Who teaches girls or rather who brain-washes girls that their responsibility is to baby their marriage and chase their husbands till they die? When they are babying another adult, who will baby them? Or are women destined to be the sad haggard one in life? Yet when these women reach out for help, the general word is, it’s your cross or lot in life and then you find that they resign to living out their days with a spouse who is flawed and making them anxious and miserable.

I have both female and male friends who like to engage in very meaningful and intimate conversations about love and life. I listen especially closely to…

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Sleep with My Best Friend’s Husband?

We are all faced with tough decisions in life, some that will take us to the next top level and others might lead to our downfall. This scenario is the case of Benedict; she has asked a question that will determine the next phase of her life.

Benedict’s Story goes thus: I am a single lady and foreigner in another country. I have been in there for close to a year. I have suddenly gotten to cross roads where due to certain reasons I overstayed, and cannot go back to my country but live and survive in this foreign land. Now my best friend’s husband has taken it upon himself to assist me, but of course on one condition, that I must warm his bed anytime he requests, else he will not help me any longer, even so, he will  report my status to the authorities.

I owe my friend a lot as we are childhood friends, I don’t want to betray her trust,but apparently not sleeping with her husband might cost me a lot, he also warned me not to expose his conversation with me to his wife. I am currently at a pressure point that weighs me down each time I think about it and time is not friendly at the moment.

Angry womanI sometimes wish I could tear him apart with my bear hands and move on with my life elsewhere, but I patently cannot do that. I don’t want to harm my bestie’s marriage either, but I truly wish I could end up doing that just to set her free from this maniac of a man she is tied to.

In what manner do I handle this situation as it requires just one decision to set me free from this entanglement?

My opinion: If I were a baddest girl, as in ‘sassy’, then I would sleep with her husband and get what I want….Oops–did i just write that?? I would suggest she stays far way from that family and look for help elsewhere to put an end to all this dilemma…. I know life is not a bed of roses. Notwithstanding, I think men like this ought to be taught one or two lessons to put them back on track.

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Your kind comments and suggestions are welcome.

Child birth Pressure Is Destroying My Marriage

I actually thought deciding to go into marriage and leave the singles club means ’till death do us apart’ I also thought a man quitting bachelorhood meant he is ready for the storms preparing to come, whether it’s a good or bad one. Don’t get me wrong marriage is good but comes with its challenges, ask any married couple and they will bear me witness.

I got a visit from a male friend who apparently had to step out of his home for a party without his wife and head to my place afterwards for an advice, but of course his wife knew he was up to something because he has been doing a lot of that recently just to have excuses to be away from the wife and 4 months old baby.

Here it is: I never knew childbirth would have such an outcome on me; honestly I love my wife but I just don’t know what to do any longer. The baby’s demand for everything is taking its toll on me and my marriage. I can’t sleep at night anymore because of his wailing every night, and the nature of my job requires total concentration. Now I resume at work feeling miserable like my life is over.

I’m so sick and tired of all this pressure on my Life. People said the child will grow out of it as soon as he is older, but honestly I don’t believe it because I think he will get demanding as he grows older. I never knew it was going to be like this. I feel for my wife too, she always has to stay awake every night to tend to the baby, he wants to be in our arms at all time, he needs to suck the breast like every 15 to 30 minutes, his diaper needs to be changed several times, I am so out of finances buying everything just for one baby. Will it always be like this? I don’t know for how long I can bear this.

Pressure from Childbirth is Destroying My Marriage

My wife sadly has discovered the effect on me and I feel guilty but I can’t help it, I assist a lot too, and that’s the exact reason why I’m dead fed up. Please what do I do?

He narrated his deep heartfelt feeling of the pressure and I could only feel sympathy for him because he obviously didn’t realise that there was still more yet to come, he is just about 2 years into the marriage.

Of course I gave him my advice since it was too late for me to give him a Pre-baby counselling which I feel every intending couples strongly need to go for.

“Love your wife, your baby, and be supportive. No matter how hard it may seem. She will always be your soulmate and mother of your children. The baby was brought into this world by you and her, he knows nothing other than what you teach him and the care you give him, please take care f him, he trusts you and looks up to you for every single thing in his life. Don’t make up any excuses to neglect your family, be strong, be a man, learn to be strong for them.

Your kind comments and suggestions are highly welcome.

Thank you.

Xoxoxo

Romantic Marriage Proposals Gone Bad

Marriage proposal is a promise of taking one’s hand in marriage-Yes it takes a lot of courage… It’s either a (YES or NO), when that typical question is popped up-“will you marry me”, It makes a woman go gaga…

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Lots of ladies in early stages of life have envisaged how they will be proposed to by “the one,” so also young men have imagined times without number how they will propose to their lovely “wife- to- be.”

It has been a dream come true for some while for others, has been their worst nightmare. However it’s always memorable when it goes as planned or better, but what happens to the self esteem of the person making the proposal if it turns out bad?

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Have you ever witnessed a marriage proposal, or have you gone as far as making a dramatic one? I haven’t witnessed any but I have heard about some proposals that were awesome and some that went so bad that got my tongue tied…

Take for example a young dude that has prepared for so long how to make the best proposal. He finally finds the lady of his dreams, he decides to surprise her with a ring and takes her out for dinner, he keeps the ring in her dessert with the help of the waiter; OOPS!!! she swallows the ring or chokes on it, that can be horrible, men take note, if you have been planning that type of proposal-It’s time you cancel that plan.

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A man decides to fake his own death after he slept in same bed with his girlfriend; the lady wakes up and tries to get him up but not even a flinch. She tries several times to wake him up, but without success, not knowing that the crazy guy was planning to make a marriage proposal. Guess what she does… she got out of bed, dressed up quickly, walks out of the house quietly; the guy got up, stunned, confused whether to call her or not, he waits three hours for her to call or maybe she would come back, but she didn’t, he decides to call her– the  phone was off; he went to her house but she had disappeared…VERY HEARTBREAKING!! Be sure of who you are proposing to and don’t be an extremist…

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I watched a video of a guy trying to propose to his girlfriend after dating her for three months, he said the usual love quotes, bla bla bla, went on his knees, she tries to stop him, but he refused, he made the proposal and then he got a bang on his head. She hit him with a guitar right on his head which got him sprawled on the floor in public, while everyone just stared. You know it can be very embarrassing for a girl if a man proposes to her in public when she’s actually not ready to get married.

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It’s even more annoying when a man doesn’t propose at all but he he just starts discussing wedding plans with the lady and then she actually doesn’t know how to respond- Should she go ahead with the wedding plan discussion without being proposed to or should she ask him if he’s trying to propose to her or rather should she just carry along with his plans. For goodness sake… where is this shit coming from? Courtesy demands you propose first, even if you don’t want to go through with the whole marriage proposal drama!!!

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