Category Archives: relationships

Perplexed-Admiring a Girl and Lusting After Another

September 14, 2016 eddaz 15 Comments

The situation where a man meets a lady, builds an attraction where he is on the verge of seriously deciding if he should go ahead and date her, and then something happens that might change the whole scenario.

Here is how the story goes: I met a lady through a good friend of mine while I travelled back to my country. she seemed so nice, and beautiful. We chatted for a while, even though I was in the country for a very short period, we still kept in touch after I journeyed back to my base.

Then one day I was automatically invited to a group chat on Whatsapp, where I saw a lady’s picture among st the long list, she looked very attractive that there was no way anyone could miss it, I got drawn to the physique, that I had to place a call to the number on the Whatsapp contact. We got talking, and became friends. Subsequently, I found out that the Whatsapp group invite was from my intended girlfriend back in my country which she said was a mistake on her part while trying to add friends on her contact list. I became perplexed when she informed me that her friend (Whatsapp Contact) called her after getting a call from me.

I got disorientated from hearing that, so I explained to her how I got the invite and decided to call her…

The lady’s I mage I saw and put a call across too was her close friend, who asked my intended girlfriend (IG) a couple of questions about me, not knowing I had plans of dating my IG. Now I’m confused because my IG is acting withdrawn from me, and what confuses me more is that she also didn’t tell her friend about us, but decided to keep it away from her. I like her but she doesn’t seem to be giving me all the attention I think I deserve and the other lady gives me a lot of this attention I need but I don’t like her as much. Sincerely she is actually the only lady I have met so far and really adore. But does she feel same way about me??

I have tried to explain to her that the reason I placed the call is because she never gives me enough attention, so I felt she didn’t like me enough, and moreover that I didn’t know the other lady was her friend but she’s just acting weird.

My opinion is that he should stay away from the two of them for a while and let his heart decide or have a serious chat with the IG to know if she really wants to spend her life with him or not.

Your kind comments and suggestions are welcome.

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When a Relationship Sends you Running for Cover

September 8, 2016 eddaz 32 Comments

The strength of courtship between a man and woman lies in the bond between them. What creates this bond is the relationship.

Facing reality, a relationship will do one or all this things to you; it will either kill you, modify, render you useless, make you float with joy, make you feel edgy constantly or decide on the one. The foundation must be built at the onset of the courtship.

I have a friend in dilemma #relationshipheadache. She saw it all but could’t let go, in spite of all the danger signs. It’s a real headache! Realistically if it was you, would you TAKE THE BOLD STEP AND RUN FOR COVER?

Yes you should run for your life! It’s sometimes tough to do but we just have to. Guys, when you dilly-dally in a relationship, you might end up in the ditch. What can be worse than getting involved with someone that is a complete ‘jughead’, you had actually presumed that this person could be the one, and unfortunately turned out to be ‘a devil in disguise’.

Fine, you’ve already gotten into the relationship thinking you have the right foundation but then you start to realise the mistake you made, It’s definitely not too late for you to take your exit.

There are instances where your partner could be forgiven but you must know when forgiveness should be applied and when you should no longer put up with the shit..

Signs you should run for cover:

Negativity

When your partner argues over everything and anything, sees all your flaws, nothing good about you, acts like a drama-queen, makes you feel bad….RUN.

Too Busy

Even President Obama isn’t too busy for his family. Once you start getting this vibes of ‘I’m very busy’ from him, it’s time to quite without giving notice, WHY? Simply because you aren’t important enough, once your partner can do without you..Think!

Can’t be seen in public together

What a shame! Your partner can’t introduce you to friends, so what the hell are you still waiting for..Knock, Knock. Come on wake up, your partner should be proud of you, whoever you are, however you look or whatever you are. It’s not too late to RUN….

Lying Freak

If he says it’s raining and you actually need to go out to affirm if it’s true-Hello? Babes, he’s just careless with your emotions….Your partner will probably tell you “I lied because I didn’t want to hurt you” OR “I lied because I respect you,” It’s a damn lie! If he didn’t want to hurt you or respect you, why did he mess up in the first place? There is no explainable reason for such..

This signs are apparent to a lot of us, but sadly we ignore them because we are so caught up in our feelings, emotions and probably business deal we entered into with our partners at the onset.

Remember define your relationship from the beginning, it’s not too late to do it now before you move too deep into it.

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Child birth Pressure Is Destroying My Marriage

September 5, 2016 eddaz 21 Comments

I actually thought deciding to go into marriage and leave the singles club means ’till death do us apart’ I also thought a man quitting bachelorhood meant he is ready for the storms preparing to come, whether it’s a good or bad one. Don’t get me wrong marriage is good but comes with its challenges, ask any married couple and they will bear me witness.

I got a visit from a male friend who apparently had to step out of his home for a party without his wife and head to my place afterwards for an advice, but of course his wife knew he was up to something because he has been doing a lot of that recently just to have excuses to be away from the wife and 4 months old baby.

Here it is: I never knew childbirth would have such an outcome on me; honestly I love my wife but I just don’t know what to do any longer. The baby’s demand for everything is taking its toll on me and my marriage. I can’t sleep at night anymore because of his wailing every night, and the nature of my job requires total concentration. Now I resume at work feeling miserable like my life is over.

I’m so sick and tired of all this pressure on my Life. People said the child will grow out of it as soon as he is older, but honestly I don’t believe it because I think he will get demanding as he grows older. I never knew it was going to be like this. I feel for my wife too, she always has to stay awake every night to tend to the baby, he wants to be in our arms at all time, he needs to suck the breast like every 15 to 30 minutes, his diaper needs to be changed several times, I am so out of finances buying everything just for one baby. Will it always be like this? I don’t know for how long I can bear this.

My wife sadly has discovered the effect on me and I feel guilty but I can’t help it, I assist a lot too, and that’s the exact reason why I’m dead fed up. Please what do I do?

He narrated his deep heartfelt feeling of the pressure and I could only feel sympathy for him because he obviously didn’t realise that there was still more yet to come, he is just about 2 years into the marriage.

Of course I gave him my advice since it was too late for me to give him a Pre-baby counselling which I feel every intending couples strongly need to go for.

“Love your wife, your baby, and be supportive. No matter how hard it may seem. She will always be your soulmate and mother of your children. The baby was brought into this world by you and her, he knows nothing other than what you teach him and the care you give him, please take care f him, he trusts you and looks up to you for every single thing in his life. Don’t make up any excuses to neglect your family, be strong, be a man, learn to be strong for them.

Your kind comments and suggestions are highly welcome.

Thank you.

Xoxoxo

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Things To Know About Online Dating

August 25, 2016 eddaz 39 Comments

Gone are the days of meeting potential partners through friends, families or in the social environment. Online dating is now in the big picture and making real waves across the internet and on applications. Online dating is real and has come to stay! And Yes you can find love through this medium.

The requirements needed to go online dating is just by going to play store, type online dating and within seconds various applications that can be downloaded pops up. It can be found across different Niche. It encourages friends without borders; This dating system has helped several couples in meeting up, some ended in fairy tale stories while some ended disastrous, but isn’t that the same thing with people that actually met physically (Real World)? My opinion is that it’s a fifty fifty thing. It either ends well or doesn’t.

Dating online has made it a lot easier for workaholics to also have an opportunity to meet a lovely man or woman without having to sit at the bar or on the streets waiting for a good looking one to come along, you no longer need to wait forever to be hooked up by a friend or family.

You don’t have to worry about being shy or confident enough to approach anyone. The internet does that for you. Just by putting up your profile, two or three good looking pictures and optimistic wordings before you start sending out icebreakers. Otherwise you might not get as many positive responses.

A lot of people question the safety of dating online. Disadvantages of online dating which can be averted are as follows:

1. Use of fake pictures on the profile: What you need to do is to always search for the opposite sex with different pictures with same face on it. Once you see a profile with one picture, ‘ X’ it and move to another one until you find the one that meets your requirements.

2. They might not be who they say they are: Ask as many questions as possible, ask the same questions again, they will surely forget the lies they told at one point or the other but give space of time and days or weeks before you ask the questions again. Once you figure out that they are aren’t who they said they are, it’s easier for you to move on because you haven’t met them in the physical, just delete their profile and that’s it.

3. They try to exploit you: Be very patient in online dating, don’t rush into having emotional feelings for someone you haven’t met yet. Get to know the persons background and if possible contact someone that you know very well who might be close to his or her location so that they can do some findings on the person. Once they get used to chatting with you and start demanding for money. Pleeeaaasseeee RUN!!! That’s all I have to write about this point.

I recommend looking at online dating as a very sophisticated means of dating that introduces you to potential matches. After finding the one you like and is OK in all sphere, then please move offline and start with the next stage of falling in love, go to cinemas, party with friends and you won’t live to regret it.

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Handling Relationships With Different Religious Beliefs

August 22, 2016 eddaz 32 Comments

I received an email from a lady who was in despair need of an answer to her confused state of mind, and I decided to post the content on my blog due to the sensitivity of it. This is one out of few mails I have received regarding religious beliefs, but this sounded peculiar to me which is why I decided to adjust a few of the texts and publish it. Here it goes:

I have known this guy for almost five months, he asked me out but I never took him seriously because of our religious differences. I am a christian and worship in a Pentecostal church, he is from a Muslim background and converted to Christianity but worships in the spiritualist church.

My fear is that I don’t understand their belief system as my parents are strict Pentecostals, no one I know in my has ever worshiped in such a church. I am also someone that believes a lot in God and want to make heaven, I just don’t understand the beliefs of his church. I like his personality and would love to have a relationship with him, he wants to be committed to me but I have not given him the opportunity because I don’t know where it would lead to. I discussed my fears with him and he made me understand that he won’t force me to attend his church even though at some point in time, he would love it if I do. He also said his church is a Christ believing church as well.

My question is what would my family say about this? What if it ends in marriage which I know I would love to happen? Where would our kids be baptized? I don’t know how my mind would start to operate. I need to know here different opinions while I also pray about this. Do I go further in dating him and getting to know him more or I should just forget about going into this affair with him even though I think about him almost every night and he seems to be the only man I have ever felt comfortable with in my life.

My own take on this is once I’m in love, the rest is history. We humans are different, and moreover it’s indeed sensitive that’s why Your kind comments and suggestions are welcome.

Thank you.